No Pressure

I remember years ago, as a young teenager, the pressure I felt as my birthday loomed before me. Yes, for a few years, it really LOOMED. I was going through all the rollercoaster emotions that an adolescent feels, and then to compound that, I knew I'd have to be cheerful on my birthday even though my true feelings were far from it. I may have been sensitive about something that happened earlier or just in one of my 'moods'. But I distinctly remember feeling overwhelmed with life and having to act appropriately on my birthday. I couldn't very well say "I'm staying in my room today" on my birthday, could I? To be clear, it had nothing specifically to do with anything that anyone else had or hadn't done, it was JUST ME. Maybe I'm the only one that remembers those emotions so vividly.

In the same way, I do think Mother's Day can be full of pressure for all of those concerned. The husband may feel compelled to make sure his wife is happy AND feels loved by her children (that's double pressure on him). Then the children may feel the weight of ensuring their mom is happy on her day. And lastly, Mom may feel  obligated  to be happy and content on her day, no matter what does or doesn't happen. Imagine all that pressure being built up, like a shaken 2 litre bottle of pop. At some point, unless things settle down, there may be a little mess to clean up.

This past Mother's Day, I decided to nip this in the bud. My goal for this Mother's Day was to let my kids know how important and special they were to me. I told them earlier in the week I did not want them to buy me anything this year-- no expectations.   They looked at me rather strangely when I told them. No gifts for Mom on Mother's Day? Suh weet!! ;) Well, except for the fact that Jill promised to make supper..authentic butter chicken, rice, and other delicacies. I was going to hold her to that!

Dave  asked me, as usual, what would I like to do for Mother's Day. (besides attending  a concert in Kelowna-- planned a couple of months ago -- which happened to fall on the day after Mom's Day) I said I'd just like to get some seeds and flowers and putter around the yard, doing some planting, etc.  And that's what I did.  I enjoyed my time with Jill, shopping around and bringing home the seeds, herb and veggie plants, and the two of us getting them all tucked into their beds.  Dave and the boys even pitched in to help with a little reorganizing/replanting of my strawberry patch.

Later,  we feasted on one of the most delicious meals I've had in a while, and ended it with a Dairy Queen ice cream cake. Oh My! The kids gave me the sweetest  card, signed by each of them. Do they know how special that was to me? It's really the little things, isn't it? They did gift me with a couple of large, beautiful coffee table books and a lovely potted plant, though. But I felt that obligatory feeling was absent, which meant a lot to me. I'm tired of putting (maybe unknowingly) expectations on my family on Mother's Day.  Maybe it's just that time of my life. Been there. Done that.

 I do love feeling special, don't get me wrong. And I think it's very important for families to express appreciation to each other for who they are and what they do. I just don't always appreciate the expectations  that come with specific holidays and celebrations  from who- knows- where. They are joy stealers, I think

I do hope all you moms out there know how important you are to your families, whether you celebrated in a big or small way!