Going Hand in Hand

Selflessness. You can’t have a good marriage without it. I think the most miserable moments  marriage are when we stop looking at ‘we’  and start focusing on ‘me’. (Not saying the needs of the individual person aren’t important, mind you).

Heard this recently: “If you are selfish and not married, that’s difficult.

                                       If you are selfish and married, that is a disaster.”

I was actually listening to a talk on freedom, but it relates to marriage so much. And all relationships, really.

Here’s what I heard (most of it a quote by John Stott, I think):

True freedom is to be one’s true self

but my true self is made for loving and

loving is self-giving

So, in order to be myself, I have to deny myself

and give myself.

In order, then, to be free, I have to give up my freedom.

In order to live, I have to die to my self-centredness.

In order to find myself, I’ve got to lose it.

Real freedom is not doing whatever I want.

Real freedom is knowing that the things I most want to do are aligned with what I was designed to do.

I had to read that a few times before it really sunk in.

Photo: http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photos-hand-in-a-hand-rimagefree3078179-resi3446387 )